I Miss You Becks!

Posted by Rob Dog at 1:04 AM

  I miss you so much Becky! I think of you almost every day!

     I swear I have rewritten this post at least 5 times now! I am having trouble putting into words what I want to say...anyone who knows me, knows when it comes to talking about MY emotions I tend to have a hard time expressing them (I can talk about other peoples emotions and sensitive topics no problem!)  I seem to get  mine jumbled and confused. So I am just going to put what comes out, so I am sorry if this post is scattered! It has been 4 years today since mine and Amber's best friend died. I am having so many feelings and thoughts going on these last few weeks. I have found myself thinking of Becky a lot lately! I often think of her as I am driving alone or doing my hair or something like that but this past week I have thought of her a lot more. I woke up at like 6:30 this morning and could not fall back asleep because I was thinking of her. I get lost in my own thoughts and memories of her and thinking of what it would be like if she was still here! Now don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy thinking back to all of the good times we had! But it also reminds me of how much I miss her.  We have been friends for longer than I can even remember! As little kids Becky and I and Steven and Spencer would all play together while our parents went to Utah basketball games, Becky and I went to girls camps, youth conference and young women's together. We would sit in young women's on Sunday and write notes back and forth the whole time (yea, I now see that was rude, but at the time we thought we were so polite for not talking, and we really thought it was nice that we even graced them with our presence!) Then we would sneak out of church early and go and do a "drive by" of our most recent love interest!:) For a couple of years, before we both had boyfriends/husbands we did everything together! We had 2 semesters of college that ALL of our classes were the same, we worked together in the evening, and then hung out together at night! And often went out of town together on the weekends! Having Becky as a friend for so long and having her be just a bit older then me was nice because she taught me a lot. She helped me learn how to drive a stick shift, she taught me to wear tall shoes/boots (when those were in of course!)She got me to ride the Calasus (sp?) at Lagoon for the first time! She introduced me to "days of our lives" (which she said that Tiff used to watch! he he he!) She taught me to wake board. She even gave me tips on how to kiss!! he he he! And she taught me the art of the "drive-by"! I have So many memories I could go on forever! We went shopping together almost everyday, we would visit or sisters together, we blew up her parents BBQ together! (remember that Ambs! ha ha ha!) We had so much fun together. I miss you so much Becks! 
                           (wake boarding with Mike and Amy)

    I took Hayden to the cemetery a few weeks ago to introduce him to Becky, and as we sat there on the grass I realized he should probably be the one telling me how she was doing not me telling him about her! I dare say he talked with her more recently then I have! I know she kept an eye on him up there for me! It has been a while since I have gotten this emotional about her being gone, I generally can remain pretty positive and remind myself I will see her again! But, there are those days I just wish she was here. I wish we could have kids the same age and try to figure this mom thing out together, I wish we could go to lunch, and I wish she were here to laugh with amber and I about all the dumb stuff we did! I know we can't change things, and I believe things happen for a reason. I know Becky is where she is supposed to be, I have a testimony of the plan of salvation and I know I will see her again! But on this day...after 4 years I also want her to know I miss her! And as time goes by some of my memories may fade but I will never forget how great of a friend I had and how lucky I was to get to spend so much time together! I am grateful for the Thomas family and the example and the testimonies they set for me when Becky died. I am especially grateful for the time I had to live with Kim and Guy. I know it was a blessing from Heavenly Father. Kim and I got to talk about Becky all the time and I honestly believe that eased the pain for me! Kim you taught me so much while we lived there and I will always be grateful for that! (even if Guy would not let me have a dog! he he he!)Anyway, sorry this post is all over the place but I just wanted to do something to remind me of Becks besides just visiting the cemetery! Here is to the good old days! 
                                                Swimming in Snow Bird! 
                                                    The Girls!!
                                                              Alpine Slide
                             More of the girls @the old Beardshall Home
                                     Becks and I took a trip to Vegas to lay out! 
                                         New Years Eve at Kim and Guys

    Christmas-Amber and Becks gave me that vest that year for Christmas! 

                                                 Which I still love and wear! 

                       Becks and I after meeting my mom for lunch at her work
           Watching a lightning storm at Cody's cabin in Bear Lake

      I miss you so much Becky! Thanks for all the memories! Love you!